wanderoveryonderfandomcom-20200223-history
The Hole...Lotta Nuthin'/Transcript
(Opens to a small black hole, which is about to suck everything in it. Zoom out to show Wander and Sylvia trying to resist it.) Sylvia: Wander, the whole galaxy is gonna get pulled into this black hole if we don't find a way to plug this sucker up! Wander: We'll find the perfect portal plug. Don't you worry, Sylvia! (gets pulled away) Sylvia: Wander! (She leaps to save Wander. Suddenly, the wind stops and Sylvia falls to the ground. Cut to Wander's finger that is plugged into the black hole.) Sylvia: '''I'll be grop darned. You did it, buddy! '''Wander: Perfect portal plug procured. (They stood there a few seconds.) Sylvia: So, uh, now what? You just gonna... stand there? Forever? Wander: Nah, I'm positive my hat can produce a permanent patch for this pesky puncture. (He pulls out a cork from his hat, pulls his finger out and replaces it with a cork. However, the cork gets sucked into the hole. Wander then tapes the hole, but the tape was sucked into the hole as well. Then, Wander puts cement on the hole, builds a brick wall, pasting the wallpaper and hangs a sign that says "Hole Sweet Home". The wall gets sucked in as well and Wander was almost dragged in and had to use his finger to plug the hole.) Wander: 'So, uh... yeah. Looks like I'll be standing here, forever. '''Sylvia: '''Don't worry, buddy. I will scour the galaxy for the perfect plug, no matter what terrifying dangers I must face, and amazing feats I must accomplish, I will find a way! '''Wander: '''Yeah! Let's go! ''(Wander tries to move, but his finger was left stuck in the hole.) '''Wander: '''Oh, right. '''Sylvia: ''(now in the orbble) I'll be back. '''Wander: '''No rush, Syl. There's plenty of ways to wile away the time 'till you get back. ''(There was a long pause. The camera zooms out a bit. Wander looks around the empty planet. The title card appears, with the second part appear for a few seconds. Then Wander tries to sit, moves a few steps and tries to sit on the ground.) Wander: 'Just... wanna... sit! ''(Looks around and sees a rock. He uses his leg to move it.) '''Wander: ''(through gritted teeth)'' 'Come on, come on... just a little... bit... ''(groaning) (The rock falls over and squishes his leg, cut to an overview of the planet as he screams. He then pulls his leg, then cuts to the rock that he moved, now back in its position.) 'Wander: '''Finally. ''(sighs) (He sits on the rock, however he starts to feel sleepy as he keeps the hole plugged.) '''Wander: ''(snoring)'' (He accidentally extends the hole while he is asleep, causing his head to get sucked into the hole. He pulls it out, but his legs were sucked in. He tries to pull it out, but he's completely sucked into the hole.) Wander: 'No, no, no! ''(Cut to the space where we see some of the planets were about to be dragged into the black hole. Cut back to the black hole, Wander's fingers pop out from it, followed by his eye while screaming. He successfully pulls himself out, but almost get dragged in. He plugs the hole with his finger. Zoom out to show that he is messy. Close up on Wander's face, then we hear a growling sound. Wander looks down to see his stomach growling.) '''Wander: '''Aw, come on, tummy, not now. (His stomach growls so loud that caused the entire planet shakes. Wander then looks around for food, until he sees an apple on the tree. Zoom in on the apple as it shines, cut back to Wander as his drool flows out from his mouth, then twists his tongue to get the drool off. Wander then looks around the ground to find something to get the apple down. He picks the rock, aims it at the apple. He throws the rock towards the apple, but stops due to gravity on space.) 'Wander: '''Oh, right. Space. ''(Wander then tries to reach the apple while screaming, which causes the black hole to extend and tries the suck the tree with an apple. Then Wander gets an idea, he extends the hole again just to get the apple to him.) 'Wander: '''Oh, sweet, delicious, delectible and distant apple. ''(his eyes turns into apples) ''Yes, yes! Come to me! ''(However, the tree flies towards his direction, causing him to scream, only to reveal that the tree was sucked into the hole. He stomps his feet angrily, then he sees the apple is just a few distance away from him. Wander licks his lips and tries to reach the apple, only for the apple to roll to Lord Hater's feet. Hater picks up the apple and eats it.) '''Lord Hater: '''What's the matter? Stuck? '''Wander: '''Lord Hater! Am I glad to see you! You see, this little black hole is threatening to destroy the entire galaxy, so Sylvia went off to find something to plug it up permanently. I've been stuck here all day. At first, I didn't think it would be a problem, but I tell you, friend, it's been a battle with the burden of boredom, and I don't know if I can take this anymore! Any way you can help a buddy out? '''Hater: ''You''... need my help? (He stares at the camera with a sly smile.) Hater: 'This is a very interesting situation. One doesn't get in a situation like this everyday. '''Wander: '''Tell me about it. '''Hater: '''I mean you can't even do this! ''(wriggles his fingers, in mocking voice:) ''Look at me, two hands! ''(does a dance) ''Derpity-doo, I can move about freely! ''(spins his arm) Whoopity-whoo! (Hater takes another bite of the apple. Wander's stomach growls again.) '''Hater: '''Oh, you hungry? '''Wander: (nods) Thanks. I loves apples. (Hater then proceeds to eat the whole apple, then spits it out.) Hater: '''Gah! I hate apples! '''Wander: '''Oh, man! Well, hey, since you're a friend in deed, how's about helping your friend in need? Like maybe zip-zappin' the hole shut with some of your cosmic lightning bolt? '''Hater: What's the rush? You said you were bored. Let's have some fun...'' friend''.'' (Wander squeals)'' (Cut to Hater playing Wander's banjo and wearing his hat.) Hater: ' When you wander over yonder, And you wear a stupid hat. ''(Cut to Hater banging a pot at Wander's head. Cut to Hater tagging Wander.) 'Hater: '''Tag, you're it! ''(Wander tries to tag him back, but he's stuck. Cut to Hater repeatedly showing the sandwiches.) 'Hater: '''Mustard or mayo? Mustard or mayo? Mustard or mayo? Mustard or mayo? ''(Cut to Hater purposely blowing a raspberry at Wander.) '''Hater: ''(mockingly:) Wander, that was very rude! What did you have for lunch? Oh, right, sorry. You're starving. '''Wander: '''Okay, this may be fun for you, but- '''Hater: '(mimicking Wander:) ''This may be fun for you, but- '''Wander: '''Okay, I get it. '''Hater: '(mimicking Wander:) ''Okay, I get it. '''Wander: '''Lord Hater, I thought you came here- '''Hater: '(mimicking Wander:) ''Lord Hater, I thought you came here- '''Wander: '(frowns) ...''to help. '''Hater: '(mimicking Wander:) ''...to help. ''(Wander rubs his eyes.) Hater: 'Sorry, sorry. Let me see what I can do. ''(Hater pretends his hand as a phone.) '''Hater: '''It's ringing. ''(to phone:) ''Hello. ''Sylvia? ''Yes, this is Lord Hater. Yeah, I know. Funny hearing from me. '''Wander: '''Is she okay? Has she found something to plug up the hole? '''Hater: ''(to phone:) Yeah, so I'm here trying to help ''Wander, and I was wondering if you... Mm-hmm. Yeah. (laughs) ''Oh, grop, yeah, tell me about it. What? Oh, sure. Uh-huh. All right, I'll tell him. You too, you flab-dresser! Mm-hmm. Bye. ''(He puts down his "phone".) Hater:'' (talks fast:)'' 'She says you have a dumb face, and she doesn't like you and she never liked you, and she's never coming back because your face is so dumb! ''(Hater laughs ruthlessly on the ground.) 'Hater: '''What's the matter? The power of friendship didn't save you? ''(laughs ruthlessly, Wander grunts) ''Oh, man, that was- that was really mean, wasn't it? Have I always been that mean? I'm finally seeing the error of my ways. '''Wander: '''Really? '''Hater: '''Yeah. You really need my help, and here I am, being an insensitive jerk. I'd probaly feel a lot better if someone just hugged me right now. Gosh, if I even got the littlest'' hug, I would totally reform and not be evil anymore. '''Wander: ''(gasps)'' 'Hater, I'm right here for you, buddy. '''Hater: '''Too bad there's no one here to make me feel better. '''Wander: '''Yo, right here! A one-armed hug still comes with a wide open heart. '''Hater: '''What, no takers? Guess I'll just stay evil. ''(Wander looks shocked.) 'Hater: '''Ha! You're finished! Useless! Bye bye, good guy. You can't even ''wander ''anymore! You're more like... ''Stander! Over therer! (laughs evilly) You know what you are? You're just a whole lotta nothing! Never hurts to help! Ha! 'Wander: '''If I can't even give a friend a hug, then what good am I at all? '''Hater: '''Never hurts to help! Never hurts to help! '''Wander: '"Never hurts to help". '''Hater: '''Wait, what now? '''Wander: '''Here I was, selfishly thinking about how I was suffering, totally forgetting about all the folks I'm helping by not letting the galaxy get sucked into this black hole. And shucks. I'm even helping you! '''Hater: '''Wait, what?! No! '''Wander: Never hurts to help! Thanks for reminding me, pal. That was just the help I needed. Hater: ''(yells) DON'T YOU DARE FIND A POSITIVE IN THIS TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE THING!! ''(pulls Wander's finger out from the hole) ''WHO'S HELPING NOW? ''(realizing he's getting sucked into the hole) ''Huh? ''(Hater tries to escape, only to get pulled back and has his finger stuck in the hole instead.) 'Hater: '''Oh, no. ''(Zoom out to show his finger is stuck in the hole.) 'Wander: '''Wow, Lord Hater, you're saving the galaxy too! I knew there was good in you! '''Hater: '''No. Oh no! No! ''(gets Wander off) 'Wander: '''But don't worry, you kept me company in my darkest hour, and I'll happily do the same for you. ''(plays his banjo) Forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever... (voice echoing and gets deeper) (Each time Wander says "ever", the camera zooms in on Hater's shocked face. Cut to Hater's ship.) 'Peepers: '''So he was literally doing nothing, and you could've just ignored him, and he would've been stuck here forever, and never got in your way or annoy you, or ruin your plans for galactic domination ever again. ''(As Peepers says this, we see a Watchdog Scientist is installing Hater's mechanical arm.) 'Hater: '''Shut up, Peepers! ''(Cut to Sylvia returning to the planet with a box.) 'Sylvia: '''Okay, I got a genie lamp, a few dozen magic amulets, diamond tape, an interdimensional soldering gun, a cosmic- ''(She stops as she sees Hater's arm has already plugged the hole. She then drops the box.) 'Sylvia: '''All right. Doodley doot da doot doot ''(Screen cuts to black.) Category:Transcripts